Some Days are Just Hard.

Some days are really hard. It was a pretty decent week, and then, out of nowhere, today was a real struggle. My one-year-old had a rough night, crying for hours. I can't predict when these nights will happen. Some nights are great, and she sleeps for a full twelve hours, but other nights, she wakes up and won't stop crying. I can't figure out any pattern, and it doesn't seem to be about hunger, overstimulation, or being tired. I often feel like a failure for not knowing why. I think, "Maybe another mom would have it all figured out." But I'm trying to work on those unhelpful thoughts. See this blog post or this one for the work I’m doing)

Today, our little girl just screamed and cried all morning. She discovered the Halloween candy in the cupboard, and nothing I did could distract her. I tried giving her a bath, taking her for a car ride, singing songs, reading books, rocking her, and offering bottles, but none of these tricks worked for more than ten minutes at a time. She's got the determination of a marathon runner. I hope that quality will be a strength for her one day, but for now, it's just tiring. I couldn't get anything done, and I was getting frustrated. That's when I realized I needed to stop fighting against the situation and surrender to it. Maybe she wasn't feeling well, although she didn't have a fever or any sign of a cold. I think a lot of it is just her personality – she's a fighter. She had a tough start in life, born two months early with exposure to drugs in her tiny three-pound body. She had to fight hard to adjust in those first few weeks, learning to live without the effects of cocaine and heroin and without the comforting presence of her first mother who carried her for seven months. It would be a lot for even the toughest of people to go through.

I've come to realize that babies born with addiction are strong-willed and don't give up easily. So, taking care of them requires an enormous amount of patience and grace, especially when you're sleep-deprived and have other kids to look after. When a baby cries all morning and can't be comforted, it's easy to feel like giving up, to think that life isn't fair and that you're not up for the job. It's easy to feel like you're just not strong enough.

But that's where the real solution lies – recognizing that you're indeed not strong enough on your own. You can't do it all by yourself. You desperately need the Lord to step in. You need Him to show His strength in your moments of weakness. When you let go and surrender to your circumstances, He always shows up, though not always in the ways you'd expect. It might be through a text from a friend, the lyrics of a song, or even the warmth of freshly folded laundry that catches you by surprise. It's in those moments that you realize He's there, He's with you, and that's all you need. There's so much peace in surrender.

In those moments, you can replace those tempting lies with truth. Replace the thought that you're not cut out for this job with "God chose you to be the mother of these children for a reason." Remember, "You are seen and loved fully by a Father in Heaven who delights in you." Remind yourself that "You are never alone."

In those moments when life throws its hardest challenges at you, and you feel like you're at your breaking point, it's important to remember that you don't have to carry this burden all by yourself.

When you recognize that you're not strong enough on your own, it's not a sign of weakness but a realization of your humanity. None of us can tackle every problem, hurdle, or crisis entirely on our own. We all have our limits, and that's perfectly okay. It's at this moment of realization that you can turn to the Lord for help.

“His power is made perfect in weakness” 2 Cor. 12:9 It's an acknowledgment that you need something beyond your own strength to see you through difficult times. The Lord will provide you with the resilience, wisdom, and comfort that you will not find within yourself when you're feeling overwhelmed.

Surrendering to your circumstances means letting go of the need to control everything and accepting that there are forces beyond your control. It's about trusting that there's a purpose and a plan, even when it's not immediately clear to you. When you surrender and trust in this way, you will find a peace that is beyond understanding. “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7

I’m praying for whoever reads this. Praying that you know that hard days are to be expected and that you give yourself lots of grace. I’m praying you surrender your circumstances to the Lord and see HIm in the most beautiful and unexpected ways. You are loved.